Maintaining separate households and thinking outside of the box ….

housewife-facts.jpg

I have one of the oddest, most unconventional lives of anyone I know, I think.  That is the reason for the name of my blog, The Husbandless Housewife.  I live in a house with my three boys and my stepdaughter.  My widowed fiance lives across town with two of his other children (He has an adult daughter who doesn’t live with him as well).  He goes to work and I stay at home (in my house) with his daughter mostly.  Most likely, this will not change for a long time.

How did we get here?  I was working for a large hospital system full time and coming home each day after ten hours a day to start over again at home with the boys and our nightly routines.  I was exhausted, I couldn’t keep up with my housework, we were eating out a whole lot and I couldn’t keep up with the boys activities either.  He was struggling to keep his house and children afloat as well with constantly rotating caregivers. About a year and a half ago, an opportunity to work from home (making more money) fell into my lap.  I hopped right on it.  I was able to work from home, didn’t have to commute for two hours a day anymore, and I could care for Star as well.  I was ecstatic.  It was actually one of the best and most exciting times in my life.  Just six months later, the company I was working for from home closed it’s doors.  I no longer had a job at all.  I really, really, really did not want to go back to the office.  I really enjoyed the clean, organized house, having time to cook every day, having time to know exactly what was going on with the boys and giving Star the full time care she deserves.  We definitely did throw ideas around about working part time and moving in together, which personally I think would have been relationship suicide for us at the time.  So we moved stuff around, I’m able to have Star with me here full time, he doesn’t have to pay caregivers anymore and I found a part time gig in the mornings when everyone is at school.  I help a woman (who I now consider a close friend) with quadriplegia.  Again, I was seriously thinking outside of the box on this one too as I have never done caregiving and knew nothing about quadriplegia.  I’ve actually come to love it though.  It has been extremely humbling and enlightening for me.  It also ensures that I get my butt up and ready every morning, which I wouldn’t have done otherwise.

Here we are again, as we have just found out that the company that he works for is now going under.  He has been there for ten years.  I have complete faith that he will land something right away, but he will probably be taking a hefty cut in pay and work a lot of twelve hour days starting out.  That means we don’t know if we will still be able to financially support two households and he will need more help again with his kids.  We have been having more proactive conversations lately about how to live with all of the kids under the same roof and boundaries which makes the idea of living together a little more attractive, but I’m still scared out of my mind to take that step.

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Maintaining separate households and thinking outside of the box ….

  1. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6.5 years and like you we have chosen to live apart. Between the 2 of us we have 6 children ranging from 13-7, we tried living together but that was an epic fail between Kids not getting along and ex’s making life tough we decided to live apart again and trying to find a place with enough room is impossible short of building new. We have been contemplating marriage because a: we want to be married and b: my children then could use his work benefits. My question is how do the financials work come tax time? I’ve tried researching but have found nothing of use. No one I know is in a similar relationship and unable to help.
    Thank you for your time
    Dawn

  2. Hi Dawn, that’s actually exactly what we’re going through as well. Too many personalities and not enough space. We’re actually getting married in October of this year so we haven’t filed taxes yet but I did come across this article when I was researching : https://budgeting.thenest.com/can-married-couple-claim-head-household-file-taxes-separately-34118.html If this article is correct, it seems like both spouses should be able to file as head of household as they don’t live together and both have dependents. I’ll know for sure when we file this next year so I’ll keep you updated. Good luck to you guys as well! 🙂

Leave a Reply